Happy Christmas Time

I'm so behind on my blog - but I hope you are all having a great season and not working too hard (yea right.) Z's last oncology appointment went well. They couldn't differentiate the tumor from the surrounding fat to measure it. It is kind of a "no news is good news" situation. The MRI in three months will be much more definitive.

Mylee is loving all the Christmas music, but some of the phrases are over her head. A few of her funny versions are are an entire verse of "O' Holy Night" but saying "O' Holy Moly", and "Tis the season to meet Charley."

Jolly Times

We took Mylee to see Santa at the mall over the weekend (this is the only celebrating we do prior to Thanksgiving because there are zero lines!) She sat on his lap and told him she'd like a Snow White toy and a Princess Piano.
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We were in a store awhile later and she told Mike "I have to go back and talk to Santa, I forgot to tell him something!" Mike told her that he could get a message to Santa if she wispered it into his (Mike's) ear. She said "I forgot to tell him that he can get those toys at Target."

random picture that makes me smile

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Mylee (while looking through my wedding album):

"Oh, this is the sad part."

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Me (noticing that she is looking at a picture of me and my dad): "What do you mean?"

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Mylee:

"I don't like it when you marry your dad, I only like it when you marry my dad."

2 cents

Ever since the hype of Y2K (that turned out to be nothing) - I've been sceptical about anything too hyped up by the media. My tune has officially changed. We've spent the last week with the swine flu, and it is just as bad as they make it out to be.

I'll spare you the details of our PITIFUL and continual suffering. I wanted to do this post for anyone who may be currently well. It is worth it to do what you have to do to avoid this! Go stand in line for the vaccine, stay home from the family party where cousin bill "isn't feeling well" because it will be worth it!

We got Zach in early enough that they prescribed him the Tamiflu medicine - but so far I don't see that it is making his any easier than Mike or Mylee's. Maybe it will be shorter, we'll see. I so far have been well enough to take care of the rest of the family. That has been a huge blessing.

Good health to you all....

OKTOBERFEST

We finally made it up to Oktoberfest, and had a blast! We went with Mike's parents and brother and sister in law.
Zach got his first taste of the BEST German Chocolate cake ever. EVER.
( Just kidding, we wouldn't have given up a bite)Mylee could dance all day!

This is a couples "egg dance." Mike was a great sport and we had fun.

Mummy

Mylee was so excited to show me her project from pre-school (shown below). She kept saying "I made you mommy, it's you!" It took me a minute to figure out that the idea of a mummy is pretty abstract for a three year old.
Mike played in the next round of the drum solo competition at Guitar Center, and WON AGAIN! He had to play a tie breaker with a guy who went to Berkley studying drums! He got hundreds of dollars worth of prizes so he's pretty excited. They'll fly him to Denver in a couple of weeks to play in the regional competition. I'm so proud. SO PROUD!

"everyone will think..."

This morning while doing the song and dance of getting Mylee dressed for preschool I was giving her her various choices of what to wear. I held up an outfit (it was cute, it MATCHED, it was warm... what was I thinking?) and she responded by saying "I can't wear that, everyone will think I don't get my own clothes."

Good News Times Two!

We had our appointment with Primary Children's yesterday, and it is more good news! The tumor has decreased in size from 2.2 x 1.0 x 4 cm to 0.5 x 0.6 x 1.17 cm!!!! We are so thrilled! AND we don't have to go back until December 23rd!!!

During the ultrasound I was SO worried. The tumor looked much larger and much brighter than it had been in the past - so I thought for sure it was really bad news. But after about 10 minutes of panic the tech mentioned that it was a new ultrasound machine. The clarity and magnification were because the machine was better, not because the tumor was growing. (Thanks for the heart attack!) The other good news is that last week I got the last "insurance fight" resolved. The stack of papers in the picture below is all of the bills, insurance info, and medical records. It represents HOURS of phone calls and brain cramps as well as a great deal of frustration. But, now I can move it to the filing cabinent because the battle has been won - at least for this year :)

P.S. IHC has been fabulous to work worth, they assigned me a personal advocate to help me navigate it all (I can't imagine how stressful it would have been without her.) I'll also put in a plug for hospital indemnity insurance. We did AFLAC to help with my maternity expenses, but we were able to add Zach to the account when he was born and they covered his hospital expenses. It was a blessing beyond measure!

Expectations

I LOVE this picture of Mylee! My dad was doing stunts with all the grandkids (example in second picture) . Mylee was scared to even do this little pose, but to me it symbolizes so much. It reminds me that she is doing the best that she can in life, and that it is more than enough! I love my girl!

Dreams do come true

As per Circe's request... here is another "Mylee Post."

This afternoon I was letting Mylee play the toddler games on the Disney website and she accidentally hit print. Out came a full page/full color picture of Handy Manny. She picked it up, clutched it to her chest, and said in a voice FULL of awe "oh mommy, I made my picture come true!"

"Um, guys...."

In June we did the tram ride at snow basin. We were pretty high up and just as I was taking the picture the tram car started to shake - Mylee's face shows exactly how she felt about that. It makes me laugh everytime I see it.

We "hiked" around a bit at the top and had a picnic lunch.

Eden

We were lucky enough to be staying at a condo in Eden over the balloon festival. It was amazing. The first two pictures were from the condo deck and parking lot.

Mylee was pretty unimpressed "I'm cold, I wanna go inside, I don't want to see balloons..." until the pink energizer bunny went up - then she couldn't get enough.We went down to launch site and saw some going up and some landing and getting taken down. It was pretty dang cool, and when we got back to the condo I took a long nap. A good day.

PINK

I'm so far behind on all that I want to blog... but here is a little update to get started.

Remember the good old days when I would post about burning popcorn and putting my pants on backward? Well this time I tried to burn my kitchen down! Yep, I put a gift bag on the back of the stove and then proceeded to turn the burner on under it (instead of the burner with the pot of water on it) and go in the other room to change a diaper. Luckily our fire extinguisher was sufficient and a LOT of cleaning has taken the majority of the smell out. I was home alone when I found the flames, but Mike pulled up as I was putting Zach down on the front lawn and running back in for Mylee. Can anyone tell me when I can expect to get my brain back - or is it lost for good?

Zach's last appointment went ok. They did an ultrasound and the tumor is still there. They said they couldn't be sure it was shrinking from our last appointment, but they are confident it is not growing. I guess we'll take what we can get! His other test all showed "no increased activity" so we are still on the same course.

Over the past week I've had three different doctors reiterate what a miracle this is. No one knows why a malignant tumor would act this way, but we are so glad that it is! It is a miracle.

The other day Mylee came up to me and said solemnly "I've got bad news and I've got silly news." Interested, I asked her to go on. She said "the bad news is that my clip fell down the vent, and the silly news is that I can't learn to go potty on the toilet." (Yep, we're back in diapers!)

Mike and I were trying to decide what color ot paint the kitchen (because somebody set this fire...) and Mylee said "I think our house should be pink." Then driving in the car she said "Mom, I wish our car was pink." Sorry kid, no chance.

Blessing Day

We blessed Zach on July 5th, it was a great day. We're so thankful for all the support from our family and friends. Mostly we are just happy to be at this point! Here are some pics.

Laugh out loud

This morning Mylee and I were eating popcorn and I showed her the kernals and told her never to eat them. She turned around, looked me in the eyes, and said "why do you put them in the bowl?"

This picture documents her very first ponytail. It has been three years in the growing! She's growing up so fast.

Yippee!

Primary Children's just called with our preliminary MRI results. The tumor is decreasing in size! Zach's thrilled and so are we! We'll get more info at our appointment Wednesday morning, but I'm so glad they were able to tell me that much. It looks like we are on the right track. Thanks for all the prayers.

Thursday

This Thursday Z goes in for another MRI. He'll get sedated, but luckily only has to fast for four hours this time. The results could be our first definitive proof that the doctors are right. If the tumor has diminished we know we are doing the right thing by waiting, if the tumor has grown we'll be on the surgery/chemo path, and if it is the exact same we just keep waiting and wondering. We'll get the final results on the following Wednesday. We're confident that all will be well, but please keep him in your prayers this week. Thanks, thanks thanks!

Ode to June

Father's day made me grateful for the fathers in my life, especially the father of my children.

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Picking strawberries at Day Farms made me grateful for the things that thrill my daughter and take very little of my effort and money.

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The other day Zach peed all over, set a new personal record (it may have been worthy of a world record) for the amount of "lunch lost" at one time, and took a bath all in a 15 minute time frame. The part that makes me laugh is that he took the bath first!

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Recently Mylee pulled out her sweat pants (really ugly/camping types) and insisted on wearing them. I asked her why, and she said "I be like you mommy." I guess it's time to start wearing jeans again....

Yep, that's my couch

Mike's band (The Hard Hearted) is playing a show this Saturday (June 20th) in Huntsville. It is the grand opening for Texas Pride BBQ, and it should be pretty awesome. The celebration goes from 6 to 10pm and it will be in the village square (235 S 7400 E, Huntsville). Mike will go on around 7:30 -8:00pm. Come check it out if you want some good music and good eats!

Missed

Oh the blog posts that might have been... While I was on my hiatus from normal life there were many things I would have done a post on. Mylee's third birthday and Mike's thirty-third birthday were both pretty low key.
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I can only imagine the post that would have resulted from this line... "Mom, there is a glass slipper up my nose." I couldn't see it and I couldn't feel it, but there was indeed a glass slipper up her nose. (armature mom lesson - just cause your kid is three doesn't mean you should let them play with all the small parts of their new birthday toys.)
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How about this line... "honey, did you know that your pants are on backwards?" Yep, after a conversation with a neighbor I walked in the house and Mike informed me of this. Now I'll often find that my shirt is on backwards and/or inside out, but this was my first pants incident.
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I managed to badly burn three bags of microwave popcorn in a day. My house still stinks from the repeated offense.
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And yesterday, I accidentally flushed a pair of underwear down the toilet. We're toilet training Mylee again (we're at about a 80% success rate with #1, and a 0% success rate with #2. NOT FUN!) While cleaning up one "non-success" #2 mess the underwear ending up going down with the mess. Mike sure thinks I'm cute (ha ha), and Mylee is furious over the matter (she keeps demanding that I apologize to her).
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My only statement of self defense is that I have not gotten more than 2.5 hours of consecutive sleep in the past 6 weeks. It does not appear that this will be changing anytime soon, so I'm sure I'll have more "stupid things I've done" posts to come...

Long Promised

Well - I'm finally getting around to posting some pics. The best ones were taken by my sister Laurie (she's GREAT and inexpensive if anyone is interested.) I'm back to work now - so I'll be posting a lot more. To sum things up we are thankful and tired. No news on Z's tumor, we have an MRI on July 2nd which should verify that it is shrinking. Enjoy these pics of my so cute son...

So blessed!

We got the results back from the big scan we did on Thursday, and it is more good news!

The cancer has not spread to any additional parts of his body, and they think the tumor has reached maturity (I'm not sure what that means, but the doctor said that it is good.) They are fully expecting the tumor to disolve on its own. But, they'll watch closely to make sure.

I feel VERY confident with the people we're working with. The plan we'll be following is part of a study from the national cancer society, and from all I can find on the Internet it is the best and most up to date approach.

We are now officially down to one or two doctors appointments a week now, and we're so excited about that! I'm still not getting any sleep, and Mylee is stressed beyond words about all this change - but we couldn't be happier with how this has all gone.

It is a sobering thing to spend time at Primary Children's Hospital. We all have things to be thankful for, but if our children our healthy we have EVERYTHING to be thankful for. There are few blessing more amazing then the health of our loved ones.

Thanks for the love and support! Your prayers have been heard!

He's Home!

We've got him home! They released us from the hospital at around 5:00 last night. We're all so tired (he was up almost every hour last night), but so happy to be at this point.

We had to be at the doctor's office at 8:45 this morning, and we have two appointments tomorrow (one at McKay Dee and one at Primary's.) Thursday we have a test at Primary's that will take all day (he can't eat for 6 hours before the test and will have to be intibated for it.) Mike goes back to work Friday morning. Yes, I'm overwhelmed and did I mention tired?!?

I guess the gist of this info is to let you know WE STILL NEED YOUR PRAYERS! We know your prayers are the reason we've made it this far and have been SO blessed.

We feel like the most blessed people on earth right now. Zachary is so cute and sweet, and we have had countless miracles - both big and small. Thank you all for your love and support. We'll post pictures soon....

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your prayers and love! Thank you.

Mel's Home!

Hi all! I'm home - but so exhausted - so I'll make this short and write more later. Official diagnosis is a neuroblastoma, but blessedly it fits into the "watch and observe category." All signs are good that it will go away on its own within the 90 week observation time, if it grows/acts up/or doesn't go away within that time frame they will operate. But, if it behaves and goes away, than no further action need be taken.

We have a few years of worry ahead of us, but we are so so so filled with hope that he'll be fine. And we are super excited that he likely won't need to have surgery.

He will likely come home next week - he's got some little issues to still work out (like that he still hasn't eaten food and isn't urinating often enough and has jaundice....)

Thanks for all your prayers and thoughts and help. We'll keep you updated.

Update

Both Mother and Baby are doing GREAT!

Melinda says she feels great and that they will have more news after they get test results tomorrow.

He is going to get to try to eat tonight which Melinda is very excited about. Right now he is being fed by IV. We are so excited to have him here but continue to ask for your thoughts and prayers.

He is here

Zachary Michael Lomax

Born 3:12 Am May 6th

6 lbs 8 oz 20 inches long

Mother and Baby doing great. He pulled an impressive apgar score of 9 out of 10

More updates and pictures to come:)

Last night at 11:00 Mike and Mel made an early apperance at the hospital. A short 4 hours Later Zachary was here. He is currently at primary's with Mike and will soon meet his proud older sister Mylee.

Beached

The other day I was avoiding some sort of physical movement and I said "I'm so lazy lately," my sister Heather responded ...

"you're not lazy, you're beached."

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That about sums up how I'm feeling.

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No real news on the baby. I'm dialated to almost a 3, but I'm trying to not get my hopes up that I'll go into labor before they induce me next Thursday. But I really do hope. I'm afraid my patience with the uncomfort, and my hope and faith are running out faster than the week will. Is there such a thing as running on faith fumes? If not - I may be inventing it as we speak.

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We're doing another group fast this Sunday with our ward and families, if any would like to join us that would be awesome. Here in Lomax Land we are all pretty worn out, and we still have a long road ahead. To be specific: I need more faith, Mike needs health (he's been sick for almost two weeks now), Mylee needs peace (this has been and will be very hard for her), and the baby needs a miracle.

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Again I thank all who have been so helpful and kind. I know we are being blessed by your prayers. I know that.

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My sister is going to keep the blog updated when we have the baby...so hopefully her post will be the next one. Oh, I hope!

Three weeks left!

We just got back from the Perinatalogist and they have set an induction date of May 7th at 7:30 am (39weeks and 2 days). The tumor is still growing steadily (12.58 cm circumference today), but the baby still seems to be doing well. No further information on what to expect after he is born.

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It looks like is going to be pretty small - he's only measuring in the 20th percentile. They say he'll be around six pounds on May 7th. Mylee was eight pounds five days early so that seems really small to me but the doctor says it is "not cause for concern."

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Of course with my blasted gestational diabetes my first thought was "somebody get me a cookie!" But it was a no go - they would rather him be healthy than just big. Darn it:)

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This cute bunny is for our baby boy. It sleeps in our bed every night, and we'll leave it with him for when we can't be with him at the hospital. It gives me comfort to be able to hold it and picture my guy dragging it around by one ear someday.

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Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers.

Any ideas?

I need a new pediatrition (mine is "no longer practicing at this office" as of this week). Awesome timing isn't it? So, I'm wondering if any of you out there LOVE your pediatrition and would be willing to recommend him/her to me. Thanks for your help!

The world as she see's it

Lately I've been setting the kitchen timer to remind me to do various things.

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Earlier in the week when the timer went off Mylee came running in yelling excitedly

"the clock has struck, the clock has struck!"

(I can only figure that this is a reference to Cinderella)

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Last night the timer went off and she jumped up, threw her arms in the air and yelled "it's time for the baby to pop out!" (I'm assuming that this is a reference to a chick she got to watch hatch the other day). She was SO excited and started talking about how she wanted to take the baby on a walk RIGHT NOW.

Let's go fly a kite

We finally made it out to fly a kite with Mylee a few weeks ago. She loved it! It was a perfect day, and the kite flew so high (obviously not the moment captured in these pictures). Mylee is still talking about it.

On a lighter note

Mylee doesn't take naps anymore, but I still try to get her to have "quiet time" in her room for an hour after lunch (no, it doesn't always work). One of my favorite times of the day is going it to her room after that hour and seeing what she has been doing.

These were two of my favorites... one time she'd put all the furniture she could lift onto her bed and made a fort, another she was just laying there quietly with all of her dolls.

Usually I just find that all of the clothes have been removed from the closet and dresser - and that she is wearing approximately three dresses/outfits at once.

Another Update

I'm sorry that I haven't posted in so long. I wish there were a ton of information to keep everyone up to date on - but we really don't know much more than what I've already posted. I'm at 33 weeks now, so at least we're getting closer to getting this little boy here. We still haven't picked a name - feel free to give us suggestions because we could use some new ideas!

We still haven't found a doctor to look at the whole situation, and it's not looking like we will. Right now it appears that we just wait until the baby comes and trust that somebody will know what to do (yes, that is the part that keeps me up at night...)

The tumor is still growing. When we found it the circumference was around 6.58cm (24 weeks) and it is now 10.33 cm (32 weeks). The good news is that the baby has also doubled in size - so it is growing relative to him so far.

We've found another diagnosis that the tumor sort of fits into - in layman's terms it could be a third lung (non functioning lung tissue). It would still require the major surgery, but that would be it (no life long follow-up.) They won't be able to let us know until after they get to run tests on the baby, but we are sure hoping they are wrong about the neuroblastoma.

Thanks to all for the thoughts and prayers - we feel the added strength.

The waiting game continues

We finally met with the surgeon at Primary Children's on Thursday, but I'm afraid we left a little MORE confused about what to expect than we were before. He basically said we really won't know about a plan of action until they can actually do imaging and a biopsy on our baby when he comes.

Since this kind of tumor can turn from malignant to benign spontaneously, they may postpone the removal until they are sure it is metastasizing. He said sometimes the surgery can be more harmful/dangerous than the neuroblastoma. He said Mike and I may have to make that decision once we have all the information (sounds fun huh?).

The good news: He may not have to undergo major surgery for the tumor removal immediately after his birth.

The bad news: We may not have a quick resolution. We may be in wait, watch, & decide mode for years to come.

The really bad news: When there is a decision to be made it is possible that the wrong one will be made. (If I didn't have a knowledge of the gospel and a testimony of personal revelation I'd lie down, curl up in a little ball. and never get back up at the thought of this.)

Now, I'll be honest, I don't know what to think about all of this. I'm comfortable with a surgeon deciding how he's going to get something OUT, but I'm not super comfortable with a surgeon deciding to leave something cancerous IN. Especially since I'm pretty sure, yet again, that the surgeon has not dealt with a neuroblastoma found in a fetus.

So now I'm on a mission to find a pediatric oncologist who can look at this whole picture and help us figure it out. I pray (literally) that such a person exists, and that we can find him/her.

Don't worry, we're still strong in our faith that everything will work out and that we are in the Lord's hands.... but good golly WHAT A MESS!

Official Diagnosis

I'll be honest, It feels surreal to even be writing this. They have given us an official diagnosis on our baby's tumor. They've decided that it is a neuroblastoma (ie cancer). It is attached to the adrenal gland, and wraps around the baby's aorta.

We've known about the tumor for over three weeks now, and it has not grown significantly. If it remains the same size and does not metastasize (and the baby stays healthy) we will likely be able to carry the baby full term, and solve the problem with surgery alone. We don't know yet what the chances of this best case scenario are.

Even if chemo is necessary we've read that baby's handle it ok (whatever that means) and that overall the survival rate of a prenatal neuroblastoma is around 90%. In short, there is definitely hope.

We'll be meeting with a surgeon at Primary Children's next Thursday, and we are really hoping they can give us some more information on what to expect. As of now, we have yet to meet with a doctor or specialist that has even seen something like this in the past decade.

I am currently 28 weeks along - so we have a long road ahead of us - but we also have a lot of faith, hope, and support from friends and family to sustain us. Please keep us in your prayers.

THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF OUR HEARTS TO ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE HELPED US SO MUCH! I don't know how we would have made it through these past weeks without the babysitting, meals, kind gestures, and the shoveling of our driveway and walks.

Thank you so much!

Mike and I want to thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, and fasting. We have felt the support and the increase of faith and peace in our hearts. We feel blessed to have so many who love us.

The miracles have already started coming and we expect many many more. We are focusing on and praying for the tumor to stop growing (and even to start dissolving), and we believe that this can and will happen. Thank you for your continued faith and prayers for that specific result.

We won't have any more information until the end of February, so we'll let you know more when we know more...

Again, thank you from the bottom of our hearts. You are making a difference to us.

Love, Us.

Asking....

Well things have taken a turn for the worse here in the Lomax household. It turns out that the ultrasound we had last week didn't go well at all (I guess ultrasound tecs take classes in acting, either that or ours just has a gift for it. )

We met with a specialist early this morning and our little guy has a pretty significant tumor in his abdomen. We are asking those who love us (or just like us, or just feel sorry for us :)) to include our baby in their prayers and upcoming fast (if applicable.)

The details:

We do not know what it is yet. It is a very dense (shows up the same color as the bones, not the organs) large mass (about an inch in diameter - he is only about 12 inches from head to toe), it is located on top of the left kidney and below his adrenal gland.) If it is attached to his kidney it is likely non-cancerous, if it attached to his adrenal glad it is likely cancerous. The doctor's best guess is that it is attached to the kidney because there doesn't appear to be blood flow to it or pockets of fluid in it. There are no signs that it is impeding the baby's development at this point - he's doing great on all other measurements.

Where we go from here:

We will have an MRI as soon as possible to try to get more information. Mostly we will just "wait, watch, and worry" as the specialist put it. We'll be having a ton of doctors appointments until the baby comes to try to get an accurate diagnosis.

Likely outcome:

If the baby starts to have trouble we could be looking at an early delivery. If he is doing well they'll have us go full-term. Either way we'll probably deliver at the UofU and the baby will immediately go to Primary Children's for surgery/biopsy. These type of tumors are rare but have a good prognosis. The specialist is "cautiously optimistic" and wants us to be the same. One of the first things he said to us was "I think your baby is going to be alright." He basically said that this is serious and must be dealt with, but when it is over the baby should be perfectly fine and normal for the rest of his life.

How we are feeling:

Well you can imagine how difficult this is for us. However we are being blessed with peace (enough to out way our panic 94.7% of the time). We feel very certain that their are miracles available to us, and that through our faith and the faith of others that our family will be blessed. We too think that "our baby is going to be alright" it is just a matter of how difficult the road will be for us and our baby before we get there.

I hope you don't mind the complete spillage of info and guts, but I figure it will be easier if people just know the details from the source from the start.

Thank you for your love and support. Please pray for my baby, Melinda

Camera Shy?

My cute unborn son wasnt' thrilled about getting his picture taken yesterday. He had one leg up by his face, and one leg pointing down the whole time. It was pretty funny, and it did help to aleviate all doubts as to his gender.

He did move his hand for a second, and we got this little peek at him. Mylee is pretty excited that we think his nose looks like hers. He is about 1 1/2 pounds right now. Official due date is May 12, 2009.

Do we have to do this?

Over the weekend we started potty training Mylee (starting Thursday afternoon).

By Saturday morning we were at the car show in South Jordan and doing lunch at the Mayan. We had so much fun together and Mylee is still talking about the divers.

For those of you thinking "that was fast." You're right.... it was fast of us to GIVE UP! By the time Saturday morning came around I was pretty darn sick of potty training. When Mylee woke up I asked her is she wanted to put on underwear or a diaper. She chose the diaper, and we went on a spontanious day of family fun.

She learned a lot, and we'll try again soon -
but I've never been more content to change her diaper!

Some fun pics

She looks so innocent in this picture - it makes me laugh!
This is more like it! She loves to put on her old dresses, wear my high heels (she walks better in them than I do) and wear her princess crown upside-down. The new kitchen her grandparents gave her for Christmas is her favorite thing to play with.

Finger painting with pudding. She thought that was pretty cool!